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claptrapjazz
claptrapjazz
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"E-commerce seeks to enhance relationships with clients and partners and to improve efficiency using the Empty Vessel strategy."

ORLY, THE EMPTY VESSEL STRATEGY INDEED.

Nail biting my way through NOT-studying and hoping I don't accidentally eat the ton of nail polish I slathered on to stop said biting. Also resisting eating the christmas presents I got for certain people- yes they are edible- my life updates are so boring, fffuuuuuuuuuuu

...I CAN TOTALLY PREDICT THE FUTURE

When Macdonalds' had shaker fries, EVERYDAY WAS A GOOD DAY.

School being a cunt? EAT SHAKER FRIES.
Step in dog shit? EAT SHAKER FRIES.
Get hit by a car? EAT SHAKER FRIES.

EAT EAT EAT SHAKER FRIES.

I remember life with shaker fries...................and it totally beats life without shaker fries.

...Sigh

...an update?!!!

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111oneoneone


See, I feel the need to remind everyone that I am indeed alive and kicking. Metaphorically, of course, as I generally do not kick but instead indulge in the simpler pleasures of life:

a) eating
b) sleeping
c) playing
d) all the of the above simultaneously, which requires much effort.

Yes, my facebook is stagnant, no, I do not have twitter, and no, I don't know why anybody would want me to e-socialize, e-kissass or e-suckup to anyone at all.

Checking current status:::
[[ leaving that to everyone else on the planet ]]

AHHHHH you said it

Might actually start blogging again, though. With, you know, maturity and wit.

LOLX100000000000000000000000

FUCK YESSSSSSS KNIGHTS IN THE NIGHTMARE IS FINALLY OUT AFTER AGONIZING OVER IT FOR MONTHS LIFE IS FUCKING WONDERFUL AGAIN WHOOHOOOO

(Sims3 isn't half bad either, GET IT.)

and marvelling at my own stupdendous stupidity for NOT HAVING WATCHED IT EARLIER BECAUSE SCRUBS IS A WHOLE BUCKETFUL OF KICKASS AWESOME AND THEN SOME.

I marvel at the douchebaggey-yet-oh-so-wisdomous phenomenon that is Cox; oh I do, I do.

cut for flamingly gay adam lambert hotness )

There is a thief in my neighbourhood.

A windmill-stealing thief.

That has got to be the most pathetic branch of thiefing EVER. My house has lost three windmills so far and it's all very tragic and sad. These truly are hard times.

(In other news, I HAVE A JOB! Come visit me when my training period is over. I don't know when that is though. Hmmmmm.)

COLDPLAY = COMPLETELY. MINDFUCKINGLY. GODLIKE.

Long story short, I did predictably beyond-atrociously-horrendous for Math and unexpectedly decently for everything else. The rest of the world seems to have divided itself into the half dedicated to convincing me my grades are good despite my math fuckup and there's no problem making it into arts courses, and the half dedicated to convincing me that because of my math fuckup, my grades will not get me into any course.

Life is good.

I am here to announce the commencement of the spankingly new hit tv series, MY TOASTER IS BETTER THAN YOUR TOASTER.

Directed, filmed by and starring the only Rebekah and Jovett, join us as we meet head to head, armed with nothing but our trusty toasters, battling to the very end. We toast everything and anything, from frogs to ipods to your mother.

DON'T MISS IT!!!


(I'd sure as hell like to toast Adam Lambert. And then eat him up. GrrrrrrrrYUMMMM.)

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There is something inherently wrong with my name. Or someone out to get me is intercepting every application I send out.

It just can't be that I have achieved absolutely nothing in life that would warrant me even ONE JOB INTERVIEW.

...can it?!?!?!

Fuck yeah Fedex, I missed you so.

So yesterday I did something new.

By new I mean not fun.

And by not fun I mean hurling eight martinis.

I will never look at another lychee in the same way again.

And Penny Arcade does it once again.

Last night some idiot was all "So how, results coming out tomorrow!" and I nearly had a heart attack right there and then. REMINDER TO SELF: CLEAR UP MSN CONTACTS WHO THINK YOU ARE STILL SIXTEEN.

On a pretty note, public transportation is now a harrowing experience, fraught with "FUCKFUCKFUCK I FORGOT TO TAP"s, "OH MY GOD NEGATIVE VALUE AGAIN?!??!?!?!"s and "WHERE THE FUCK IS A REALLY HARD SURFACE WHEN I NEED ONE?!?!!!"s.

Good times.

Today Volley bit a dog and I discovered my intense dislike for all things young, pink and squealing, i.e obnoxious little girls.

It is 3.30am and I have finished a bottle of woods' cough syrup within a day.

...I might die presently.

HAI GUYS I changed my email so feel free to msn me at rrrebekah@gmail if I haven't added you yet. ...Or if you always wanted to add me but I never gave you my email. Ha. Hahaha. Also I caved and made a facebook account, whereupon I got a huge culture shock at the activity levels over there. Sob.

I have a lump the size of Atlantis on my right thigh- only, you know, not hidden, and not...underwater. It was red last night and this morning it evolved into a fully fledged GIGANTIC BRUISE, complete with all the colours of the rainbow. I hurt so bad. WHY AM I SO ACCIDENT PRONE?!?!?!

And I would make a new year's resolution, except that for the last two years it's been 'CURSE LESS' and we all know that's gone to hell.

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